Who says there's a water shortage??

- Replacement for burnt-out sump pump: $140.00.

- After-hours service call (and service contract purchase) for a plumber to re-light tenant utilities pilot lights: $350.00.

- Bottle of wine while waiting for plumber: $12.50.

- Shivering for six hours after playing in 7-inch deep pond in your basement to dig sump pit deeper for new pump, and warming up only by the very deep blue eyes of the cute plumber (and his deeper butt crack), and shivering again while $350 of your hard-earned money is spent to have a cute guy flick a bic and hold a button down for 60 seconds: priceless.